Book Review: Celebration of Discipline

I’d heard about it years ago but I just finally got around to reading the classic book, “Celebration of Discipline”. I admit, I had been scared off by the title. “Discipline” sounds very challenging and no fun. We find discipline especially difficult in our culture which runs on us trying to fulfill our every desire asap. However the book wasn’t nearly as “bad” as I had expected. In fact, I found that I was already doing many of the things discussed (though I can always improve).

One idea which I love and think is brilliant is found in the first chapter. Unfortunately, conservative evangelical Christianity has often focused on sin management. The priority has been on getting people to behave more morally. So sermons are often Continue reading →

Thoughts on Emotions

  • It is common to misidentify the reason for feeling a certain way. We often think and/or feel that the source is something/someone that it is not. For example, you may get angry at someone for something silly, but the problem isn’t really them or what they did, it’s the fact that you’re tired.
  • Emotional statements and questions are different from logical/intellectual statements and questions. They should be handled differently, because they are really expressing different things. If someone asks “How could God let this happen?” after their child has been in a serious accident, they probably aren’t looking to get into a deep discussion about the “problem of pain”.
  • Emotional statements aren’t necessarily correct. There is a difference Continue reading →

The Beauty of Freedom in Love

One idea which I picked up from Dan Brennan I’ve just recently been thinking about. I recognize that in the romantic myth, and typically in our culture, the thinking is that a person will find one other person to be the object of all their love, and the primary if not sole source of all love received. The sub-text is that everyone else in the world “sucks”—at least by comparison—and therefore they should all be ignored insomuch as is possible. However Brennan suggests another paradigm of love. This love is a love so full and mature that they have the freedom to share their love to others. Instead of all the love being absorbed into the one relationship, the relationship makes each person’s love stronger. The latter pair are more able Continue reading →

Rethinking Friendships and “Romance”: Misc. Thoughts

I’ve said a lot about relationships here recently. I’m still trying to sort things out. If you haven’t seen it, you might look at the comments on my review of “Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions”. I came up with how I would have organized chapters, which was really just a way to help me sort out all of the different issues in play. For me, it is helpful to untangle them so that I can look at them separately (that’s not to say they aren’t interrelated).

  1. There is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship. All relationships are different, because they are an interaction between two unique people. Therefore, no relationship will be completely fulfilling.
  2. Many relationships are broken, dysfunctional, and/or abusive. Due in part to this, many Continue reading →

Rethinking Friendships and “Romance”: Emotional Intimacy

  1. One of the most difficult subjects which I’ve yet to make up my mind about is that of emotional intimacy. For example, many view emotional intimacy as something only for marriage, and engaging in emotional intimacy with someone other than one’s spouse is considered emotional adultery. In our culture, where marriage is based mostly on feelings and “romance”, it’s easy to understand why this is the case. But I’m not sure if emotional intimacy is inherently tied to marriage originally, nor that it must be exclusively with one person. The next two items are related.
  2. There is a lot of talk about “guarding one’s heart”. The advice is usually not to get too close to someone and not to become emotionally intimate with someone unless you are Continue reading →

Rethinking Friendships and “Romance”: Cross-gender Friendships and Communication

I’ve been thinking and writing through a lot here recently. I think there are two main issues I’m running into: the existence of “romantic” passion, and what to do with it when discussing singles. These are questions which I feel Dan doesn’t answer very well.

  1. Most people have sexual desire, which has the real potential to complicate opposite sex friendships. As Brennan correctly points out, there is more to sexual desire than just the desire for sex. Or perhaps a better, hopefully clearer way to put it is that we have both the desire for sex and the desire for intimacy, and the two are deeply intertwined. Brennan suggests, I believe correctly, that intimacy can exist in a relationship without sex. In some cases, there is no sexual Continue reading →

Real Men, Real Women

Recently I’ve been seeing more and more written in the broad category of gender issues (or maybe better described as gender identity), and specifically discussing men (Dan Brennan/Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions, Where Have The Good Men Gone?, Church For Men). This has got me doing quite a bit of thinking. In some areas, I have a good sense of what I believe. But in other areas, I’m not sure what to think. For example:

These days it’s hard to find a man who puts Jesus first—while it seems like Christian women are as common as boots at a rodeo. I have single, female friends who just roll their eyes when they think of the tiny crop of unmarried men who attend their churches. “There’s a great selection of weirdos, mama’s boys and creeps,” said one Continue reading →

Book Review: An Army of Ordinary People

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was getting into when I got this book. This was in part because I was unfamiliar with it’s author, Felicity Dale. However, it turns out that I loved it and am very thankful I got it.

The book’s subtitle summarizes it pretty well: “Stories of real-life men and women simply being the church.” Each chapter tells a part of someone’s story, and how God worked through them in simple and yet significant ways. This isn’t a collection of only the best, most unbelievable stories, with all of the difficulties glossed over. I feel that many stories I’ve heard elsewhere which are meant to be inspiring end up sounding unreal. But this isn’t the case with An Army of Ordinary People. More than anything, these stories are Continue reading →

Patriotism and Church (a.k.a. Hitting Two Sacred Cows With One Stone)

A year ago I attended an outdoor church service (read about it here). During communion, I noticed that among other “beauty” shots, they put a shot of a nearby American flag on the video screen. I was very disturbed by this. Jesus instituted communion as a time for his followers to collectively remember him. So in my mind, to show an American flag during communion was taking away from Christ and effectively putting the United States up on par with God.

This year on the third of July I went to church. As I approached, the walks were lined with U.S. flags. Inside the sanctuary, there were flags lining the balcony (three sides of the room), and a gigantic flag which nearly covered the entire front wall. Granted it was mostly hidden by the Continue reading →

Perspective

One day you are walking along the street. You happen to see something which looks really wrong. A couple of people appear to be planting a bomb. You think quickly, call 911, and report what’s happening, along with the vehicle that the men drive away in. Thanks to your actions, the men are caught. It turns out that you averted a terrorist attack, and led to the capture of the terrorists!

Of course the news picks up on this, and paints you as a hero. You receive numerous awards and recognitions. Due to all of this, you become somewhat of a regional celebrity. Through this, you meet the governor, and he ends up appointing you to an important position on a homeland security committee. Through this, you become good friends with the governor Continue reading →