Shrewd as Snakes: Spiritual Abuse 2

Dale Fincher is currently doing a series on spiritual abuse on his blog. (In fact, his whole blog may be about spiritual abuse—I’m not sure.) He talks mainly about his own experiences. I admit, this isn’t something I like to talk about for several reasons. First, I generally try to stay away from speaking negatively about anyone specifically. Second, spiritual abuse can be a complicated subject. Third, people who have been hurt by this can be quite bitter. While rightly angry, it can be challenging to listen to, especially when trying to stay away from bashing others, as mentioned in point one.

Nevertheless, I think it is an important subject to address. It’s part of the idea behind this series, “Shrewd as Snakes”. As I mentioned Continue reading →

Seeing the Beauty in Others

Jonalyn Grace Fincher created a video inspired by my recent post, “Respect Women, But…“. How cool is that? Jonalyn shares many good thoughts regarding seeing people and looking for a person’s true beauty beyond the surface. I am honored that she took the time to do this. Watch the video and see what Jonalyn has to say here. After that you may want to check out and support Jonalyn and her husband’s organization Soulation.

A few thoughts on what she discusses: I have recognized that I find some people more attractive than others, and that naturally I am more drawn to those people. I have chosen not to worry too much about this, not worrying if I am treating everyone the same. After all, attraction is natural and I don’t feel like I Continue reading →

The Christian Message About Homosexuality

Not long ago I had a brief discussion with someone regarding Homosexuality and Christians. As I understand it, they hold that since non-Christians generally believe that homosexuality is ok, Christians need to be a counter-balance, letting people know that it’s not ok. (This obviously assumes that homosexuality is wrong; the discussion of whether homosexuality is a sin or not is beyond the scope of this post.) I see what this person is saying. It seems logical. But it brought a couple of questions to my mind.

First, are people outside the church here in the U.S. more likely to know that homosexuality is wrong or that Jesus loves them anyway?

Second, is the message that homosexuals have received more likely to be that homosexuality is Continue reading →

Women – Can You Handle the Truth?

I just read an excellent post by Jonalyn Fincher. She tackles a perspective that I’ve only heard one other time. So I think it’s worth taking a look at.

One of the top thing that women say they want in a man is honesty. And I believe that’s true. But… how do women react to truth they don’t like? Not always well according to Jonalyn. Another author shares very similar thoughts in “Why Men Don’t Share Their Feelings“.

One of the wonderful things about women is that they are often quick to themselves when something is going wrong. I think it’s noble to try and determine if you yourself are part of the problem and how you might be a part of the solution. The dark side of this is that women can blame themselves for much more than is Continue reading →

The Idolatry of Marriage

My cousin Jonathan has created another excellent blog post. He does a good job of talking about something which is so normal in our culture that 98% of us are oblivious to it. What I’m speaking about is how we’ve over-emphasized marriage and “romance”, expecting them to be the ultimate, saving experience in our lives. It’s what Dan Brennan calls the “Romantic Myth”.

When Christians aren’t loving enough, singles must bear more loneliness than they ought, and spouses must rely on each other more than they ought.

The problem is that if the beauty of married intimacy is all there is, you will be left wondering–Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s her? Maybe I married the wrong person? Maybe I need to buy the right book?

What if intimacy, joy, and closeness really are found in Jesus? Continue reading →

Book Review: Open

I had previously read one other book by author Craig Gross. While I thought it was good, I was still uncertain what to expect from his new book “Open“. As it turns out, I wasn’t disappointed.

“Open” is about accountability, at least primarily. I have the impression that the word “accountability” has a negative connotation for some people. Craig addresses these concerns in the book. While I haven’t had negative experiences with accountability, I also haven’t really seen it practiced well. Craig does a good job of painting the picture of what healthy accountability looks like.

The reason the book is called “Open” is because the foundational idea here is to live honestly. This doesn’t mean we share our private lives publicly, but it Continue reading →

The Appearance of Evil

At the end of church last week, we somehow got onto the topic of not giving the appearance of evil or sin. We didn’t have time to really get into it last week, so we talked about it this week. It seemed like a good topic to discuss. After all, it is biblical, right?

Do you know where “don’t give the appearance of evil” is found in the Bible? I didn’t remember. I looked for it and couldn’t find it… because it’s not there! Oops! It turns out this comes from a misleading translation in the King James Version of the Bible. “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thes. 5:22 KJV). Other translations communicate it better, saying either “every kind” or “every form” rather than “appearance”. The idea is to keep away from any and all evil; Continue reading →

God’s View of Women

…Jesus also had a group of female disciples. Luke also used a shorthand phrase to refer to them. He simply called them the Women (Luke 23:55; Acts 1:14). Interestingly, Luke used this phrase the same way that he used the Twelve.

They were the Lord’s disciples also—the female counterpart to the Twelve. The Women followed the Lord wherever He went, and they tended to His needs. And He was not ashamed… The greatest disciples of Jesus Christ were not the Twelve. They were the Women. The reason? Because they were more faithful…

This is an excerpt from “God’s View of a Woman“, an article by Frank Viola published in House2House Magazine. I think it’s a good article worth reading, especially if you are not familiar with the topic already.

photo credit: Continue reading →

Dating, Marriage, and Sex (and Understanding the Bible)

Last Tuesday night my church discussed what the Bible has to say about dating, marriage, and sex. First of all, we acknowledged that our concept of dating is foreign to the Bible. Nevertheless, the Bible still offers us insight and guidance. The greatest commands (love God, love others; see Matt. 22:34-39, Mark 12:28-34) should be overarching guides for our lives, including dating, etc.

In the area of “romantic” relationships, we (in our culture) talk a lot about love, falling in love, being in love. However, our group recognized that this is significantly different from what the Bible speaks of in the greatest commandments and the “golden rule”. It’s ironic that, though we talk so much about love in “romantic” relationships, we often Continue reading →

Book Review: Clean

Not long ago I read “The Final Freedom” by Dr. Doug Weiss. It contains a significant overview of all of the different factors which can be involved in sexual addiction. So Dr. Weiss seems to be quite knowledgeable. Unfortunately, “Clean” feels almost as if it were written by a different person. I was admittedly disappointed.

First of all, I got the sense that the book wasn’t written from a position of humility. I want to be cautious in saying this; it is a bit subtle and I could be mistaken. However he seems to talk a little bit too much about himself and his own accomplishments. Second, and one of the most bothering of the criticisms I have, is that Dr. Weiss promotes some significantly bad theology. For example, he compares America to Continue reading →